Zambia: On the Road, African style!

Zambia: On the Road, African style!

If “life is a journey and not a destination”, as Ralph Waldo Emerson famously declared, then traveling is one of the very best examples of this maxim. You can also take Emerson’s words literally, and examine how your travel experiences are informed not just by the places you consciously visit, but the mode of transport you use to get to them. Two of my minibus trips in Zambia, accompanied by a Zambian friend, particularly stand out as perfect examples of memorable ‘journeys’…

The first journey I took was from Lusaka to Chirundu, to see its ‘fossil forest’, which turned out to be something of a let-down. But something remarkably unnerving happened when our jam-packed minibus stopped in a town called Kafue enroute.


Lusaka – Most Zambian roads look nothing like this!

Parked in the middle of a bustling high street, our bus was approached by a man begging for kwacha (the local currency). From out of nowhere, an angry woman stormed over, yelling at him, and started to slap him around the head. Soon, several more people joined in, and he was temporarily floored before the woman, still giving him an earful, forcefully and purposefully shoved him toward her house.

My friend translated that she was accusing him of stealing money from her bedroom. He and everyone else grinned and chuckled about it. Me? I was a minute away from brown trousers time. But my 6ft, 200lbs+ ex-Rugby player friend was a reassuring presence indeed. It’s what validated my decision to travel this way, and also to hitch a ride with a friendly Zimbabwean lorry driver on the way back (do NOT try that on your solo travels, kids).


Another thing we saw on the way back from Chirundu – apparently, there were no casualties!

The second trip from Lusaka to Victoria Falls was even more incident-packed. It was reasonably uneventful driving to a place called Mazabuka, although once there we were obliged to wait at least half an hour, mostly because the drivers kept changing their minds over where each of them were going. Eventually, at 5pm, we left the station. Within a few minutes we pulled in to a gas station to fill up on petrol. This is normal enough.

What isn’t normal is for your bus driver to try and squeeze through a teeny tiny gap between the pumps and another bus that is facing you. As we were moving so slowly no serious damage was done, but the collision did shatter the other vehicle’s headlight. The other driver was understandably pissed off, and refused to let us go, even going so far as to blocking us (and the row of vehicles behind waiting for the pumps) in so we couldn’t leave. Once again, my trousers were perhaps not the same colour they’d been beforehand.

After about 20 minutes of to and fro, common sense eventually prevailed and they swapped phone numbers, allowing our driver to take us to another bus owned by the same company to drive us onward. The driver of this next bus wasn’t about to drive us for free, yet we’d all already paid. So he negotiated his share of the pie with the previous driver, and this took about 20 shouty, argumentative minutes to sort out, which is a lot of hassle when you’re crammed, sardine-like, in to a tight space with about 20 other people. 20 is my lucky number, huh?

1500779_14081082404018My friend had a go at driving a lorry…and why not?

When we finally left Mazabuka, it was getting dark. And then, about, oooh, 20 minutes on the road south, our bus broke down.

My friend suggested we hitch (again) and, somehow, he succeeded in flagging a 4WD car down in a matter of minutes. We were driven with speed to Monze, arriving at about 7pm. We’d taken 6 hours to cover a third of the distance we needed to travel. But don’t worry: from Monze it was a simple case of waiting for, er, one and a half hours for the Victoria Falls coach to arrive. When it did, I wanted to kiss the ground, and it was straightforward enough from there. So what was supposed to be a 6 hour journey transformed in to a 13 hour odyssey that even my classically laconic Zambian pal finally admitted to being ‘a little bit stressed’ about.

1500779_14081076798626One of my favourite roadside ads I’ve seen anywhere. We may laugh, but to many Africans HIV remains a big issue.

What did I learn from these experiences? Well, that I had reserves of patience, resilience and humour-in-adversity I never knew I had, for starters. But it also helped me appreciate that Zambia’s landscapes, alternating between arid and fertile, are places of desolate beauty, and that its bustling towns are colourful marketplaces of its cultural soul. Journeys are not just about killing time on the way to your chosen destination. They’re also about immersing yourself in an on-the-road vibe. And you don’t have to get as close-to-the knuckle as I did here to do so either!


  • Laura @ Grassroots Nomad

    June 21, 2016 at 5:37 pm Reply

    Wow that driving sounds crazy – especially at the petrol station! Sounds like a wonderful trip that teaches patience and a great sense of humour!

    • Joe

      June 21, 2016 at 5:46 pm Reply

      Yep, it was utterly insane driving, and crazy goings on all round really! But it certainly has helped me be more philosophical about some of my other travel experiences, that’s for sure 🙂

  • Naomi

    June 21, 2016 at 8:05 pm Reply

    I think any country in Africa will shock your senses and be a real adventure to experience

    • Joe

      June 21, 2016 at 8:28 pm Reply

      Yeah probably, but in different ways. It’s such a vast continent, and the shock you get in Zambia would be a marked contrast to that you would get in, say, Morocco.

  • Rachael

    June 21, 2016 at 9:53 pm Reply

    WOW…Isn’t drive (or being driven) in other countries quite an adventure! 🙂

    • Joe

      June 22, 2016 at 5:21 am Reply

      Always, but some countries more than others, and Zambia has to be right at the top of the list! 🙂

  • Fern

    June 22, 2016 at 12:49 am Reply

    Amazing photos, I can’t believe that plane crash! What an amazing journey you had!

    • Joe

      June 22, 2016 at 5:22 am Reply

      Thanks Fern. It remains lodged in my memory, both the plane crash and the journey overall!

  • Steph of Big World Small Pockets

    June 22, 2016 at 8:00 am Reply

    This was a hilarious read, reminding me of so many crazy bus trip sI’ve taken round the world! Loved it!
    Steph of Big World Small Pockets recently posted…10 Best Free Things to do in Airlie BeachMy Profile

    • Joe

      June 22, 2016 at 10:56 am Reply

      Thanks Steph! You can’t beat a good bus ride for some crazy goings on 🙂

  • Sonal of Drifter Planet

    June 22, 2016 at 8:34 am Reply

    I feel bad for the man who got hit on his head by that woman. Anyway, have you visited India ever? Many beggars in India too and it’s also a sensory overload.

    • Joe

      June 22, 2016 at 10:59 am Reply

      I did too – it was your classic case of mob justice really, with all the unpleasant connotations that entails. I have been to India, yes, and agree that it’s a complete assault on the senses. Old Delhi was probably the worst place for that in my experience, with some very stark examples of extreme poverty.

  • Danielle Des

    June 22, 2016 at 2:12 pm Reply

    On the way back from Chirundu is that a plane crash site?

    • Joe

      June 23, 2016 at 5:49 pm Reply


  • Bwale Chileshe

    May 13, 2017 at 3:37 pm Reply

    Came across this today. What do you mean by :We may laugh, but to many Africans HIV remains a big issue.
    Do you mean HIV is not an issue anywhere else but in Africa?

    Thought all this was cool until that caption. That’s very offensive and I’m sure many other Zambians would share my view. You seem to have not taken the time to learn more about this place. You were too busy with photos and didn’t bother to change such stereotypical views. HIV is not a laughing matter. Once you have lost loved ones to AIDS maybe you will show some empathy. Anyway #lintonlies I guess.

    • Joe

      May 13, 2017 at 4:31 pm Reply

      Oh please. Look at the picture that accompanies the caption; it’s clearly humourous, and that is what makes me, and no doubt others, laugh. But they are using humour to draw attention to a serious point, rather than taking a humourless, ultra-serious, sledgehammer approach. I guess you think that, in my approving of such an approach, you think I am saying that HIV is a laughing matter? Good God. I suppose you would say the same to the people behind that poster too then…which so happens to be the AIDS Foundation of Zambia.

      To come to the conclusion that my words somehow imply that HIV is only an issue in Africa is baffling. That would be like concluding from the statement ‘many Americans are concerned about Donald Trump’s Presidency’ that, therefore, only Americans are concerned by Donald Trump’s presidency. It makes zero logical sense.

      You say I haven’t bothered to learn more about Zambia. Well, it would appear to me that you haven’t bothered to learn a bit more about me. That wouldn’t bother me if you then didn’t conclude from your sanctimonious reaction to what is, ultimately, just a photo caption on a blog post that I am one of those stereotypical ‘gap yah’ travellers who are culturally insensitive and do more harm than good…

      I actually have taken several trips to Africa in recent years, and am involved in an ongoing project to support a girls’ School in the Kilimanjaro region of Tanzania. We built a library for this school through my own School where I work in London. As well as continuing with the development of that, we continue to support their mission to provide the children of the school with an education, healthcare and a safe/stable home environment in other ways too. I’m not pretending that doing this makes me a saint, or that we are going to change the world overnight, but our work has made a difference to the lives and education of those young girls. A small gesture, maybe, in our troubled world and these troubled times. But it’s not one I am going to apologise for or justify, and nor should I have to.

      If that makes me an arrogant Westerner with a ‘white saviour’ complex then so be it. Perhaps it would make you feel better if we pulled the plug on this Tanzanian project, as it presumably fits in to the #lintonlies profile?


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